ah well.

alright.. douglas told me on my birthday that since we couldn't go to rick's cabaret on tuesday- we'd just go this weekend when he could change his clothes and shoes. thing is, i'm not really sure it's a wise thing to do because i'm also thinking he might make me pay for him again- he asked me for some money to gamble with on tuesday.. i was just so happy to get outta the house that i didn't even think of telling him he had to use his own money (considering it WAS MY BIRTHDAY). whatever. i think i only gave him $200 at the most. he might try to have me pay his way into rick's cabaret if we go there- so i don't really wanna put myself in the position where he asks me for money to pay his way into the club and i have to tell him to pay his own way in. fredrick told me after i told him about when we went to the casino that he didn't like seeing people take advantage of me. whatever- people either ignore my existance or take advantage of me. that's what i get for living in this state.